(Photographer: Ron Brewer)
I would like to first thank you for taking the time to join me for my second go at this. I am so happy to have gained the confidence to share what makes up my beautifully imperfect, continually learning and developing journey of self and as a mother. GROWING up as the oldest girl and the second oldest of 8 it was important for me to develop a strong sense of responsibility. Though this was not always easy. At times it was a struggle feeling like all eyes were on me to succeed. I placed more emphasis on over achieving and PERFECTION on myself then others placed on me. And in a world where perfection is impossible my thoughts of perfection often times led to failure. I would get down on my self and think of all the possible ways things could have turned out differently. This need to break away from my thoughts of perfection led to somewhat of a rebellious and explorative phase in my life. While I still ensured to stay on track to graduate high school and begin my college studies I still had a long way to SELF DISCOVERY.
This journey took me through a much needed RECONNECTION with my God, several relationships, 3 pregnancies which blessed me with 3 beautiful children, a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, a Masters degree in the field of Infant Mental health, pursuing my doctorate degree, professional positions in child development, education, therapy, and case management, engaging in things that make me happy like modeling and writing, and that’s not the half of it!
I have been at my lowest points and been blessed to rise back up. I have been through struggles that led to a better appreciation of what I have. I have been through battles that I gained the strength to overcome or simply walk away from. And because of these things, much support from my loved ones, and my motivation to be the best that I can be for my children I have developed a sense of RESILIENCE that was not previously there. But it is important to note that I no longer seek perfection instead I expect and create room for PROGRESS and POSITIVE exploration of my daily living. And for this to be possible I had to learn that its okay to make a mistake as long as I am able to learn from it. It is okay to fail if it leads to discovery and motivates me to work harder. It is okay to cry (I am human!) as long as I have the ability to put myself back together and remember the resources and tools available to me to do so. These resources include prayer, writing, getting advice and venting to loved ones, and reminding myself what I am working for and towards.
I have shared all of this in the hope of reaching someone and helping to ease their mind, enhance their journey, and assist in the development of a balanced life. So look out for my all of my post as WE move forward in this journey TOGETHER through advice, scripture, poetry, parenting, personal and professional development, and my life…
I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13